Begging for Forgiveness
by BurgerHeroLOTF
Summary: After Island experience, we all have different ways to cope with a traumatizing event. Some are successful, and others aren't. This is the story of one that isn't. Depression, Insanity, and Death. DISCLAIMER:I DO NOT OWN LORD OF THE FLIES. I REPEAT, I *DO NOT* OWN LORD OF THE FLIES! Please do not flame too hard ;-;


"I just don't understand…" Simon spoke. He was staring at the boy across from him with green innocent eyes. His voice so soft and so innocent, he would make children seem like devils compared to him. He ran his fingers through his shaggy black hair. He had ripped clothing and was dirty. Just like back on the island.

"Why would you do something like this…?"

The boy he was speaking to didn't even spare him a look, he just couldn't. He made sure his dark brown eyes didn't even catch a glimpse of the boy named Simon.

He wiped his own face, and immediately saw red blurred all over them. Was this body paint, or was this his blood, Roger had thought to himself. He looked all around him, a similar background; the same island. He had looked for the other children, but it was just him and Simon.

Many things were racing through his mind, he had so many questions for Simon, and he was here. He then noticed the lifeless body next to Simon. The roundish figure, there was only one person who looked like that in this island was Piggy. "…why did you kill him…?"

"You wouldn't understand" Roger spoke softly, "He was a threat to the tribe… He questioned Jack's leadership". Simon stared at him, with teary eyes, and then he wiped off his own tears.

"A threat… Is that why you guys killed me as well… I was… just… a… threat?" "We didn't know it was you! We were all paranoid! We were all scared of the beast!" Roger had yelled in self-defense. Not even Roger would dare lay hands on the boy who stood in front of him; he was so fragile and weak, so innocent of the evils of the world.

"Isn't it funny then… How you all feared the beast. Your fear consumed you, turned you against your own friends. I wonder… up to this point, do you know what the beast is?"

His heart started to beat quickly as he replied, "The beast was just a figment of our imagination…"

"No it wasn't… The beast was within us, our savagery, we were the beasts" Simon spoke again, even softer than before. His world has completely stopped; he pondered deeply the words that Simon had just said.

Simon first presented this idea in the little meetings they would have back on the island, just to be laughed at. He was one amongst the boys who had laughed and booed him off the platform, but that was when he was younger. Now that he had grown, he finally understood what Simon had meant.

He looked up at the boy, who was now wearing a school uniform, but instead of the school Emblem it bore a cross. Simon spoke in a louder voice, "It is never too late to ask for forgiveness Roger… please… ask for forgiveness. I know you are not evil, it was just the curse all humans have…"

Roger stayed silent; he couldn't believe what he was hearing. After years of going through therapy, after having to face his family, after the Island, he was branded as evil or demented. But here is Simon, telling him just the opposite, telling him all humans act like this.

He looked into the boy's eyes, there was no way in earth someone as pure and gentle as Simon; could be like him. Simon was perfect, while he was some boy with problems, never to be able to adapt in civilization again. His thirst for blood had overcome him, and followed him back to England. His pass time was killing sweet little animals, Simon was a little sweet animal, and he had brutally murdered him as well.

Now the boy had stood in front of him, begging him to ask for forgiveness, to repent everything he has done. Even if he were to ask for forgiveness, would it be enough to save him from what he is becoming? "Simon… Why…" he managed to finally choke out.

Simon sighed, but continued to talk, "Because, I know you, and I have known you ever since we were younger. We were in choir together, and you had a beautiful voice. We all did, back before the island, we were so innocent. Where did our innocence go? Or does it still dwell inside us? I believe so; I believe that you still have innocence inside you. You are not evil, you are just human, and we all deserve a second chance. You are not demented, a side of you was forced out by the influence of other evils around you, but you still have the choice to let it go…"

Roger was so conflicted inside him, was everything Simon was saying true? It must be, all those nightmares, they had to mean something. Those endless nightmares where he had killed Piggy over and over again and Piggy's corpse would appear in front of him after he had fallen.

It would stand up and pick up the pieces of the conch and repeat the words "Roger you will regret this…" These dreams would always haunt him, every day, up until the point where he would see Piggy's corpse everywhere he went. Standing and holding the shattered conch in his hands, repeating those words.

Roger is now fighting to keep his tears away; he still couldn't believe that he would be able to be forgiven. He didn't just kill one boy; he assisted in the slaughter of the boy standing in front of him. Yet the boy is so kind to him, trying to save him from his inner beast. The two boys who had potential to keep all of them alive and together, he had killed them both. This was all his fault, there was no denying in that, but that did not mean he couldn't ask for forgiveness.

"I'm sorry Simon… I'm so sorry for killing you. I'm so sorry for killing Piggy, I'm so sorry for not listening to you when you spoke on the platform…"

his tears started to fall,

"I'm sorry for not being strong like you! I'm sorry for giving in so easily! So effortless, all for the sake's of my blood thirst! I'm sorry for everything Simon! Just make it stop! Please… Please forgive me…

Please make it stop hurting. It hurts so badly, I'm crying Simon… I just want it to stop hurting. Please help me, I repent, I repent of everything." At this point Roger was bawling uncontrollably, it hurt so much inside him.

Simon smiled softly and pulled him into a gentle hug, "I forgive you Roger… I forgive you my friend." When those words had spoken Roger felt something inside him, his pain had fallen numb.

He continued to cry softly in Simon's arms for a while. This was how true love and forgiveness had felt like, this is how having a friend felt like. He never wanted this moment to end; he wished to stay like this forever. Simon spoke into his ear in a soothing voice, "Roger… let's go to where we truly belong…" He looked up at Simon, and nodded.

They stood up, clasped their hands together and walked. This was true friendship Roger thought to himself, Simon is his best friend, he always had been. They kept walking until the island background hand turned white, and disappeared.

_Patient Number 030100, First name Roger. Died at 11:50 p.m. in his slumber. _

* * *

**Epilogue: At Roger's funeral**

A fair haired boy had stood in front of a grave. His friend had just been buried there, after being in the insane asylum for five years. Ralph had remembered visiting Roger as if it was yesterday.

Entering his room was the most frightening thing he had ever seen. He was wrapped up and facing the wall, being silent like always. Once Ralph had managed to see him closely, his eyes widened. Roger was extremely skinny, as if being starved, and he had the darkest, lifeless eyes Ralph had ever seen. He twitched and his mouth would smile on its own, then go back to its emotionless state.

Ralph felt like crying just seeing him in this state, it was terribly silent, an eerie silence. Roger whispered to him, "Piggy… he's back… Help me…" and had started to laugh hysterically. The nurses had to come in and drug him to sleep afterwards since Roger tried biting Ralph's legs.

That was the last time he had seen Roger. Now he was standing in front of his grave, looking down at it as many memories had rewind in his mind. He felt sorry for Roger, Jack was lucky enough to adapt back quite quickly, so were the others. But Roger had been alone, and only Ralph would come see him.

Ralph looked at the flowers that he held for a while, and then he knelt down. He placed the flowers gently in front of Roger's grave and he kissed it. "Goodbye my friend, I always had faith in you… Now you're somewhere else. Wherever you are, if you are with Piggy and Simon, tell them that I miss them. Just like how I am missing you right now friend…"

He looked down and gave a moment of silence for a bit. He then stood up and walked away, off to finish his life. He would always cherish his fallen friends, for they had all taught him a lesson.

* * *

"_Fear can't hurt you any more than a dream._" – William Golding, Rest in Peace

**A.N: A question has been asked around the fan base of Lord of the Flies, How did the boys adapt into society after the event? **

**Well here was my answer, I hope you enjoyed it. (SinceImSupposedToBeWritingAn Essay) Hopefully you guys can hear from me again! **

**~Burgerhero**


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